Ctrl+Z. Ctrl+Me.

"Just living is not enough", said the butterfly, "one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower."
— Hans Christian Andersen.



stellar.



Beyond.

Beauty beyond the strokes of a brush
Awareness beyond the mind of a lush
Kindness beyond the eyes of the crowd
Patience beyond thinking aloud

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Short story: A kind of hush.

She trudged across the room towards the dull looking chair as if her feet weighed a tonne. Every dreadful step she took seemed to drain her energy more and more each time. A million thoughts raced through her mind as she continued each tormenting step towards the immobile object which looked as if it was moving towards her. Her hands and knees were shaking, as if turning into jelly; Her breath was short, as if she was going to suffocate in her anxiousness. She clasped her fingers together, in hope that her hands would stop shaking. Reluctantly approaching the chair in a few steps, she forced herself to think of the happy moments she had encountered in her life.

One step. 

The happy faces of her parents on her graduation day appeared in her head. Smiling so widely and so beautifully in the graduation portrait, it seemed like her parents suddenly became youthful again. The wrinkles on their faces did not signify old age, it displayed genuine happiness. They were so proud of her that no words could describe. In fact, all they could say was, I'm so proud of you. She thought about herself in the gown and remembered how pleased of herself she was. That day was the day she felt like her parents had never made the wrong decision in bringing her up and providing a wholesome education for her. 

Another step.

A handsome face popped up in her mind. Sharp jawline, dimples and the most stunning smile a man could ever have. That was the day he kissed her on the forehead to calm her nerves as she got ready to take her majestic walk down the church aisle. As the attractive man took his place and the familiar tune began to play, she strolled elegantly towards him and the proudest father in the room. With the ring placed gently on her fourth finger, she leaned in for the kiss which she wouldn't have dared to do in front of so many people if it wasn't such a special occasion. A decision she never regretted, the two words she would never take back.

The last step.

Little screams and the sight of stained diapers flashed across her mind. Her precious, her everything. Big eyes, chubby cheeks and the cheekiest smile; her baby boy was the joy of her life. He was animated, lively and absolutely gorgeous. Three years old and energetic as can be, he was the star of the show every time relatives came by for a gathering. He was the most ravishing child present, never failing to entertain every one with his little impressive dance moves, and his contagious chuckles which could get the whole room clutching their stomachs and asking him to stop. Giving him life was one of the best decisions she had ever made.

That's it.

She eyed the chair directly in front of her and let out a sigh. It felt like the sky suddenly turned stormy and the room instantly became dark. Her heart was in her mouth and she had no choice but swallow the fear. Remorse filled her as she took the last few seconds to clear the final thoughts in her head. The day her father passed away as she did not have enough money to pay for his cancer treatment anymore. The day her mother committed suicide after months of fighting depression. The day her husband took her son and left her with nothing but a divorce.

She sat in the chair, leaned back a little and nervously cleared her throat.

My name is Lorelei, and I have an addiction.

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M.

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