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Fresh. Afresh. Refresh.

see, I'm just a waste of life.

So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
― J.R.R Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring.


for better or for worse, we told ourselves that once we got off that train we would never get back on it.
when we were on the train, we would both want the aisle seat.
and that's when we eventually sit apart — on the same aisle,
but at a different side.

you would get engrossed looking out the window and admiring the cloud.
and all I could do was sit in envy and wish things would be different.
it did become different.
it was our stop. we alighted that train together, supposedly hand in hand but the intertwined fingers began to loosen.

we became separate entities once again, just two individuals who were next to each other. mostly silent now,
but sharing the same determination
not to get aboard again.
but determination itself didn't seem enough. we were foolish to believe that we were strong enough.

Ctrl+Z. Ctrl+Me.

"Just living is not enough", said the butterfly, "one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower."
— Hans Christian Andersen.

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the silence in black and white.

I'm not okay.

But it's not just how I feel.

I had a dream.

I bet you thought your life would change.

And I don't suppose you know where this train goes.

poison me daddy.

What is it about them?

Always another bender, I lose control.