locked out of heaven.

"I'm not sure this is a world I belong in anymore. I'm not sure I want to wake up."
- Gayle Forman.

----------------

Is there a chance

that this world we're living in

is nothing but a lie?

Is there a chance

to question existence

to ask why?

Is there a chance

everything that happens is meant

to confuse the thinkers?

Is there a chance

to feel happy

by putting myself first?

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Maybe we have all gotten used to how society forms a template of how everyone should be.

Maybe we have all gotten used to what we should or should not be doing.

All I wanted to do was to be different.

In the end, I somehow still ended up thinking about how I should fit in.

I tried to fit in, but I could not.

I never could.

I have always been one of the boys.

But I ended up deceiving myself that I fit in with boys.

I told myself that I should slowly transform back to what I am supposed to be - a girl.

But I ended up having girls around me with nothing much in common.

Where do I belong?

Where do I stand?

I am different.

I am Mel.

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M.

I am everything; everything I'm not.