Ctrl+Z. Ctrl+Me.

"Just living is not enough", said the butterfly, "one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower."
— Hans Christian Andersen.

and she says.

It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.

- Dave Berry.


The aroma seeps through her nostrils,
as sweat trickles down from her forehead to her cheeks,
her hands shaking, her heart pounding,
her mind racing.

The crisp sound of the beans being grounded
into the fine powder
like the magical fairy dust,
too magical, too precious.

Get a grip.
Her shaking arm holds her other shaking arm.
Don't let it get to you.
You're better than this.


It was more than an addiction,
it became a necessity for daily functioning.
As long as I didn't start the day with a cup of coffee,
I wouldn't have the mood or energy to do anything for the day.

What if it was it all in the mind?
What if the effects of coffee aren't real?
What if all this was make-believe?
What if I've never tried coffee?

The first sip.
The deadly first sip.
The sip that got me hooked.
The sip that tied me down for life.

I let myself take that sip,
and I fell in love with it -
the taste, the aroma,
the pleasure that came along with it.

The satisfaction of having coffee on a daily basis.
It was no longer something for recreation,
it was no longer something to accompany my breakfast.
It became more than a necessity.

It was reliance.

So back to the questions I ask myself.
What if I never tried coffee to begin with?
What if I never took the first sip?
Would it have saved me?

And of course, it always leads to more questions,
like opening a can of worms.

What if I have never tried coffee?
What if I never felt the satisfaction of having coffee?
What if I never felt the need to have more and more coffee?
What if I could survive without coffee?

Before coffee, I was able to survive on my own.
Before coffee, I was able to function normally,
without the shaking, without the urge to drink more.
Before coffee.

But before coffee,
what was I?
Evaluating the detriments and benefits,
is coffee what I need?

Is it a need or a want?

The questions could go on and on,
but I won't let it.
The addiction could lead to more and more cups consumed,
but I won't let it.

Am I capable of that?


Don't take this literally.
This space is never for anything literal, or is it?



i want you forever, forever and always.


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