Ctrl+Z. Ctrl+Me.

"Just living is not enough", said the butterfly, "one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower."
— Hans Christian Andersen.

I need to stop.

Of course I'll hurt you. Of course you'll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence.

— Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Manon, Ballerina.


Alles Gute zum Geburtstag, mein Schatz.
Ich wünsche dir alles fröhlichkeeit das du verdienst.


One knee forward with the coordination of the foot 
trampling on the ground in a surge forward 
where the other knee takes control with the coordination of the other foot
covering the distance with stable landings on the gravel.

Maintaining an equilibrium between the movement of both legs
ensuring that one does not move faster than the other
for fear that the two limbs would buckle
and an unintended collapse will be effected.

Forward was the only direction indicated on the map of life
or, at least, that was what everyone had put in place;
a fixed pathway to follow with full compliance required
because nobody wants to be criticised as a bottleneck.

Making sense of life seemed to be the drive behind purposeful living
yet another social construct perceived differently by many individuals
and yet another ideation that initiated philosophies on existence
with a huge stagnation on solving the future problems.


Hush. Hush.
Some words cannot be spoken
for the sensitivity of the content which may
spark a dynamite of insensitivity.

Dig deeper.
Stop asking the wrong questions.
Actions cannot be reversed nor retracted.
Digging in the right place leads to the treasure.


But how do you find what you're looking for —
when everything is in black and white?


Es ist so schwer diese Worte zu sagen.
Ich denke schon seit einiger Zeit nach.
Ich vermisse mein Zuhause.
Ich dachte, das Verlassen wäre eine besser Wahl gewesen.
Ich blieb.
Reicht das jetzt für dich?
Habe ich deine Aufmerksamkeit bekommen?
Ich habe nie an bedingungslose Liebe geglaubt, und das tue ich immer noch nicht.
Sorge für mich.



I been doing too much
I been running too fast
I been testing my luck
I beeen living cloud nine
I been at it all night
I been feeling so loved
I been waking up lit
I been making up shit
I been spilling my guts
I been feeling so blessed
But stressed all day
So what.


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