Ctrl+Z. Ctrl+Me.

"Just living is not enough", said the butterfly, "one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower."
— Hans Christian Andersen.

and i'm nobody.

"Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy."

- Anne Frank



Life is like a motorcycle.
Sometimes you don't get to choose which brand, model or quality.
One is thrown at you,
and you have to live with it.

Some people have better bikes,
faster speed, newer engine, more expensive model, but dangerous.
Some people have nicer looking bikes,
sexy stickers pasted everywhere, but engine is really rusty.

Well, you win some, you lose some.
Motorcycles ain't perfect are they?

You could work hard to earn cash to modify it.
You could make it brand new on your own,
or leave it in the hands of someone to do it for you,
for a sum of money, of course.

But ultimately,
the motorcycle is yours.
You own it, you live it,
all the choices to be made comes down to you.


I used to be anti-motorcycle.
I absolutely hated it.

I was almost tempted to learn it,
but I rejected the idea of learning it.
I rejected all invitations to take a ride,
cos well, I didn't want to be taken on a ride.

I was scared of motorcycles.
I didn't dare to take a first step out of my comfort zone to ride it.

Well, of course I did not even have the skill for it.
Until I met someone.

He had his own motorcycle,
but he was willing to share parts with me,
to merge the parts to make a more "perfect" motorcycle,
which we would both enjoy.

I didn't really know how to ride,
but he did.
He told me he'd take me out for rides,
he told me to stay close,
to hold him tight,
to not let go.

I trusted him.

The ride was overwhelming.
Fluctuations of emotions and thoughts.
But what maintained
was that poker face.

The fragility.
At any point in time,
I could have let go,
and fallen off.

The temptations of damaging cheap thrills,
the idea of fragility,
the thought of defeat,
letting go was so easy.

I could have easily just let go,
and given up on myself.

But I held on to you.
It was as tightly as the initial fear,
but it was tight enough to feel your warmth,
and to feel alive.


I still am anti-motorcycle to some extent,
but I don't hate it anymore.
I enjoy rides,
it brings about so much thought.

It brought me lessons, 
just within a day on a motorcycle.
Lessons that most might not have thought about.
Valuable lessons.

Life is like a motorcycle.
It may not be the motorcycle you like,
as the grass is always greener on the other side,
perhaps you might prefer a scooter more?

But ultimately, the decisions made about the motorcycle is yours.
To hold on to it, or to let go.

The fragility of life.

It could so easily be let go.
Yet, there are always things to hold on to.

Cherish it.
Cherish life.


To all those who were skeptical about me,
those who mocked my neuroticism,
those who found it hard to accept me,
take this loud and clear.

I probably know how to appreciate everything better than you assume,
not because I've been through more than you assume,
but because I think.
I think a lot more than you assume.

And yes, I am glad to say this.
I am happy.
I am really happy.
Everything is so beautiful now.



well, who's laughing now.


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